


Cross My Heart

by Carukia



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:05:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1299304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carukia/pseuds/Carukia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael wakes up alone. Then he remembers Gavin is in England, and it's only the start of a very long couple of weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cross My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Non-linear.
> 
> This is heavily (really heavily!) inspired by the Marianas Trench song, “Cross My Heart”, which you can find [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeUB5Hx78tA&feature=youtu.be). As you can probably tell, the title is taken from this song, as are several lines. The scenes actually follow the order of the song, so if you listen to it while you read, you'll probably recognise everything as it happens.

**\+ 8**

Michael wakes up early. The sun is too bright, and when he glances at the clock on the bedside table he sees he easily has another hour left to sleep before he should get up for work. He groans and covers his eyes with a forearm, mentally preparing himself, because Gavin is always up early and he invariably ends up bustling into the bedroom with tea and coffee and toast and loud words, and never thinks anything of it.

Except...

Michael sits up and glances around the bedroom. Right, Gavin’s not here.

Gavin is in England.

And it’s just typical, Michael realises, that even without Gavin there he’s still waking up too early. The more he and Gavin spend the night together, the less sleep Michael is getting (and it’s not even always for the right reasons, because Gavin stays up late and wakes up early and Michael is dragged along with him). So of course, his sleep cycle is fucked up, and he doesn’t even have Gavin there to smooth the waking transition.

 _Another day_ , Michael thinks as he drags himself out of bed anyway and gets in the shower. _Another day spent away from you_.

 _It’s kind of pathetic_ , he admits as he makes his own coffee. He and Gavin have only been together for five months (and nine days and twelve hours and seventeen minutes), but they’ve seen each other almost every day since and it’s killing Michael to be apart from him for so long. And what’s worse, is that it’s nowhere near even halfway over, Gavin is still a few weeks away, and Michael already can’t stand it.

The coffee doesn’t taste right and Michael ends up pouring half back down the sink, and he doesn’t even bother with toast. He goes to get dressed and remembers to step over Gavin’s shirt that’s always in the doorway so he doesn’t trip, only to realise halfway through the step that the shirt isn’t there, Gavin took it with him, and he ends up tripping over himself anyway.

“Mother _fucker_ , Gavin!” Michael shouts to no one, but it’s a sound that feels right in his apartment, now, and it’s kind of comforting to hear anyway.

Michael makes it to work only a little bit early, and adds another sticky note to one of Gavin’s computer monitors, like he does every day. This one says, ‘You’re a piece of shit’ and is signed with a smiley face. He adds it next to ‘Gavin, why are you so stupid? -Michael’ just as Geoff is walking through the door, Jack hot on his heels.

They film an Assassin’s Creed Let’s Play that morning and Michael laughs when he thinks what Gavin’s going to say about missing out. He spends the afternoon editing and says goodbye to everyone as they leave, and finally he’s the last one out (again) and he’s tired and just wants to go home.

‘Another night,’ he types into an email after dinner. Gavin almost never checks his emails when he’s away for whatever reason, but Michael likes sending them anyway. Sometimes Gavin reads them in front of him when he finally gets back to Austin, and Michael thinks that’s pretty cute. He tries hard to think of something to say, but nothing jumps to mind.

In the end, he just adds, ‘I miss you,’ and presses send. Gavin probably won’t see it for weeks anyway.

 

* * *

 

**\- 1**

“Michael!” Gavin calls from the bedroom. Michael sighs and turns the stove off. “Michael, quick!”

Michael doesn’t hurry; he’s more than used to this. He gets to his doorway and freezes. There’s a suitcase and a duffel bag open on his bed, and clothes thrown across the room. “What the fuck, Gavin?”

Gavin holds up two button-down shirts, one in each hand. “Which one should I take?” he asks.

Michael looks at the shirts, looks at the empty bags on the bed, and looks back at Gavin. “Are you only packing _now?!_ ” Gavin blinks, and nods. “ _Gavin!_ You leave _tomorrow morning!_ Why are you only packing _now?_ ”

Gavin frowns, shrugs, and ends up tossing both shirts into the suitcase. “Well, I didn’t really think about it before now, did I?”

“Jesus Christ,” Michael mutters. He goes over to the bed to look into the suitcase, and it’s then he notices Gavin’s duffel bag. He holds it up. “What the fuck is this?”

Gavin glances over. “That’s my bag, Michael. For carry-on.”

“Yeah, no shit, Gavin. I meant, look at it.”

Gavin grins. “Oh yeah, it’s uh, it’s pretty torn up, yeah?”

“It’s more than pretty torn up, Gavin. It’s ripped, it’s worn,” and Michael dumps it back onto the bed.

“Yeah,” Gavin answers. “Then again, so am I.”

And Michael doesn’t have an answer to that. Every now and then, Gavin says these weirdly profound things, and it always leaves Michael stumped. He starts shoving T-shirts into the suitcase while Gavin bustles about the room grabbing things and throwing them in.

Then Gavin holds up one of Michael’s shirts from a drawer he’s pulled open. “Can I take this?”

Michael looks at it, and Gavin is just grinning and looking excited. Michael smiles, and says, “Yeah, Gav. Take what you want.” Gavin walks back over and drops the shirt onto the bed.

“I want to take you,” he says, moving over to stand in front of Michael. Michael flushes red, and he hates that he still does that, because it’s been so long and it’s not like he’s uncomfortable by Gavin’s forwardness anymore.

He splutters a little. “I... You... That’s not going to work, Gavin.”

But Gavin just laughs, murmurs, “Isn’t it?” and then he’s cupping Michael’s face with his hands and leaning down to kiss him softly. Michael is already panting a little when their lips part.

He pauses for all of a second before he hears himself saying, “Yeah, you’re right, that’s totally going to work,” and then he’s frantically undoing Gavin’s belt and Gavin is laughing and pulling their shirts off, and Michael is rubbing against Gavin’s thigh, and then Michael is letting Gavin fuck him into the carpet.

Gavin is as smug as usual, afterwards, peppering tiny kisses across Michael’s chest. Michael is panting and sweaty, filthy and absolutely _wrecked_ , and everything aches. Gavin slowly helps him to his feet and pulls him to the bathroom for a cold shower. In the end, Michael ends up finishing Gavin’s packing for him (in his boxers, because there’s carpet burn all down his shoulders and he can’t even wear a shirt, now), while Gavin finishes cooking dinner.

Finally, Michael picks up the shirt Gavin had pulled out of the drawer. It’s one of the Achievement Hunter designs, and a pretty old shirt itself. Michael smiles, folds it, puts it in the suitcase, and goes to eat.

 

* * *

  

**\+ 13**

‘I miss the stupid things,’ Michael emails. ‘The list is huge, because every fucking thing you do is stupid.’

 

* * *

  

**\- 82**

Michael parks his car around the corner from Geoff’s house. It’s late; he can see the lights of the Ramsey house have already been turned off. He creeps up their driveway and over their fence, and he’s getting pretty good at it, now. The light to Gavin’s converted garage is still on, so Michael very softly taps on the door.

It opens and Gavin pulls him inside to kiss him furiously against the wall. Michael comes up laughing. “I feel like a fucking teenager sneaking into your parent’s house,” he says, and Gavin snorts.

“Don’t be a tosser, Michael.”

Not that Michael minds sneaking around. He and Gavin have spoken about it, and they’re not ready for everyone to know they’re seeing each other, not yet. Plus, Michael reasons, it makes it even more fun.

They go to bed fairly early that night. Michael is exhausted, and falls asleep almost instantly. Then he’s jolted awake again when Gavin pushes him out of bed and he hits the floor. “Ow! Gavin, what the fuck?” The light is still on and Gavin is shushing him and motioning for him to get under the bed, so he crawls under there, rolling his eyes.

He can’t see anything, but he hears Gavin go to the door and open it, and say, “Hey, Geoff.”

“Gavin, it’s three in the morning,” Geoff says back. _Three in the morning, holy shit!_ Michael thinks, and it’s all he can do to cram his fist in his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud.

“It absolutely is, Geoff.”

“Your light is still on, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep. I’m playing Titanfall,” Gavin says, and Michael rolls his eyes again because fucking Gavin, this is just like him.

Geoff is silent for a few moments. “Okay... Just, make sure you get enough sleep for work, okay?”

“Will do, Geoff. Thanks, goodnight,” and Gavin gently closes the door. Michael slithers out from under the bed, and he knows he’s grinning way too much, because Gavin crosses his arms and huffs.

“Fucking hell, Gavin!” Michael laughs. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is exactly like high school.” He stands up just in time for Gavin to gently backhand his arm.

“Don’t be a knob, Michael.” And that makes it worse, because now Michael is crying with laughter and he has to sit back down again. Gavin is smiling down at him fondly, though, and that’s all Michael could ask.

When he finally stops laughing, Michael looks up at him. “Are you okay, though? Why are you still awake?”

Gavin shrugs. “I’m fine, just can’t sleep.” His expression becomes excited. “Will you play Titanfall with me?”

And Michael is so tired, he’s just been woken up halfway through the night, and they both have to go to work in the morning, but Gavin just looks so happy. So Michael smiles, says, “This is stupid,” and picks up a controller.

 

* * *

  

**\- 37**

The phone rings at 12:30 in the morning, on the dot. Michael groans and rolls over, and without his glasses he only just manages to answer it. “Hello?”

“Michael.”

“Gavin?” Gavin’s breath on the other end of the line is soft and fast, and Michael can hear rustling. “What’s wrong?”

Gavin moans softly and--- Oh wow, Michael would recognise that sound anywhere, now. “I need you, Michael.” Michael swallows. “I need you inside me.”

“Jesus, Gavin,” he whispers, but he’s wide awake now so he kicks his sheets off to palm himself through his boxers.

“Do you remember,” Gavin murmurs between gasps, and Michael’s imagination is going nuts. “Do you remember when you bent me over the back of your couch?” Michael groans, because yeah, he remembers. He couldn’t forget if he tried. “And you grabbed my hip and pushed my shoulders down, and just...went for it.”

“Yeah, Gav,” Michael answers softly, and moves his hand inside his boxers. He’s already hard, fuck, this is going to be too much.

“I loved that, Michael, it felt so good.” There’s a _snick_ sound and some more rustling, gasping, and Gavin is back. “I’m working myself open for you, Michael,” he groans, and Michael nearly loses it.

He hears himself say, “Fuck, I love watching you do that,” and Gavin’s soft laughter is cut off by his own gentle moan. “How’s it feel, Gavin? You like that?”

“Yes,” Gavin gasps. “Michael, feels so good, so tight. M-Michael—ah—God I wish it was you in me.”

“What would you want me to do to you, Gavin?”

“Do what you want.”

And Michael does lose it, then, guttural groan wrenching itself from him as he spills over his fingers. A few moments later he hears Gavin stutter out bitten-off sounds, and then there’s silence but for hard breathing on either end.

Eventually, Gavin says, “Michael?”

“Jesus, Gavin,” Michael says again. “That was...wow.”

Gavin laughs. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” he says, and hangs up. And Michael is left with wet boxers, a sticky hand, and one boyfriend who is a wonderful, magnificent bastard.

 

* * *

  

**0**

Michael drives Gavin to the airport really early. They’re both up, anyway (thanks, Gavin), and Michael had always intended to. No matter how much Gavin said he would book a taxi, inevitably he would forget.

He’s already done a final check of all of Gavin’s things. Ticket, check; passport, check; bags, check. And even though Gavin is super relaxed about everything, Michael worries, and he worries even more when Gavin is involved. So he gets them to the airport about three hours before Gavin’s flight, and they end up having to wait around.

Gavin is restless at the best of times, but Michael is noticing now that with nothing to do but sit and wait for a plane for several hours, he’s even worse. He twitches, he mutters to himself about everything he has to do in England, and absently taps his fingers on Michael’s arm.

And it’s fucking lucky for him that Michael is head over heels, because this right here would drive Michael crazy otherwise. Instead, he adapts. He takes Gavin’s hand in his to still his fingers. He slumps back in his own chair to rest his legs over Gavin’s. And he asks him what his first stop is, and when he’ll see Dan, and what stupid videos are they going to make this time?

And Gavin calms down, because he loves to talk, and he gets so animated and excited that Michael is suddenly struck by how lonely he’s probably going to be. He hides that, of course he does; Gavin doesn’t need to know that this is going to hurt. Michael makes Gavin promise to say hi to Dan for him, because Dan is the only one who knows they’re together, and promises in return not to do something horrible to Gavin’s desk at work.

Finally, their stupid conversation is interrupted when Michael decides Gavin really needs to go and wait at the gate, so they stand up and Michael grabs the bags. Then suddenly they’re just outside the checkpoints, and Michael can’t go any further.

Gavin turns to say goodbye, and Michael just drops the bags and lunges forward to kiss him instead.

“Take me with you,” he whispers against Gavin’s lips, but he knows it’s too late to get a ticket and get on the plane anyway.

Gavin smiles and kisses him gently on the forehead. “You know I would, Michael. But you have things to do here. I’ll only be gone a few weeks.”

“I know, but... I’ll start to miss you.”

Gavin laughs, softly. “You’ll be fine.” He crouches down to pick his bags up, and leans in to kiss Michael one last time. “I have to go.”

“Yeah,” Michael mutters. “Have a good flight.” Gavin gets a few feet away before he turns around again.

“Oh, Michael?” He grins. “I love you.”

Michael flushes bright red. “Y-You mother _fucker_! You can’t just say that and fuck off to England!” But Gavin is laughing, and Michael glares down at his shoes. “I love you too, asshole,” he forces out. And that fucking _would_ be how they finally say it to each other, of course it is, it’s just fucking like them. Gavin just grins and waves, and passes through the checkpoint, and Michael loses him around the corner.

Suddenly Michael realises he doesn’t want to be alone tonight, or any night, and in the back of his mind he thinks, Gavin is gone, this is t=0 now, and Michael knows he’s going to end up counting every day until Gavin gets back.

 

* * *

  

**\+ 19**

Michael is pretty sure Gavin knows how much he means to him. He’s pretty sure. Gavin never seems to _want_ more from Michael, even though he accepts anything Michael gives, even welcomes it. And Michael knows he tries to do little things or say things to try and convey it, but he’s never been good with actions _or_ words.

Michael wants to _show_ it.

Of course, that would be a little easier if Gavin wasn’t off in England. So, like everything else he wants to say to Gavin while he’s away, he writes an email.

‘Okay,’ he writes, ‘now I _really_ miss you. It’s been more than two weeks and I swear to God, Gavin. I’m about ready to pack my bags and fucking _run_ to England. I’ll do it. I will run to you until I can’t even stand on my own anymore.’

It’s stupid, Michael thinks, really stupid, but he presses send anyway. When Gavin ends up reading it from bed when he gets home, with Michael curled over his back and arms around his waist, he’ll laugh and say, “Aw, Michael, it can’t have been that bad,” and Michael won’t say anything about how he wakes up every morning and his heart clenches when he realises Gavin isn’t there.

He’ll just say, “I really only missed you a little bit. Barely at all.”

But Michael misses Gavin while he eats breakfast. He misses Gavin on the drive to work. He _really_ misses Gavin when they have another afternoon off because they normally film Go! then, except they filmed in advance so Gavin was still in them all. He misses Gavin when he gets home, too, and he misses Gavin when he checks his email.

But this time, Jesus, there’s a response. Michael looks at it, frantic. ‘You can’t run to England, there’s a great bloody ocean in the way, you sausage!’

It was only sent two minutes ago, Michael realises, and this might be the only time Gavin is actually online and checking these emails. So Michael pumps out a response as quick as he can. ‘Well, then I’ll fucking _swim_ across, asshole. I’ll fucking do it, Gavin.’

Not two minutes later – oh, thank fuck, he didn’t miss him – another response arrives. ‘So you’re going to swim to me? You definitely won’t be able to stand on your own after that. What will you do when you arrive?’

Michael chews his lip. He doesn’t even really need to think about it. ‘I’ll probably fuck you until _you_ can’t stand.’

An agonising five or six minutes passes, and Michael starts to wonder if maybe Gavin got pulled away, when at last; ‘Promise?’

Michael laughs, and fondly types, ‘Cross my heart.’

 

* * *

  

**\+ 22**

‘Hotels are all the same,’ Gavin’s email says when Michael wakes up that morning. ‘Same beds, same loos.’ That’s it, that’s all it says, and Michael just stares at it over his cup of coffee and ends up screaming to himself, “What the fuck is a _loo_ , Gavin? _Jesus!_ ”

But that’s just like Gavin, and it actually warms Michael’s heart a little. He hadn’t expected any further contact, so even just this is enough.

From memory, Gavin is somewhere in London right now, making a few appearances at one of the video game conventions. _In any case_ , Michael thinks as he locks his apartment and walks to his car, _you’re still away from me_. It’s getting closer to the day Gavin returns, at least, a little over halfway there, now.

Still; another day, another dollar. Michael loves his job, he loves his job more than anything, but when he’s the last to arrive and sits down at his desk, and there’s no Gavin spilling his things across the room, it’s somehow harder to appreciate it.

Jack notices that he’s quieter than normal today. “You alright, kid?”

Michael sighs, and leans forward to rest his elbows on his desk. “Yeah,” he says. “I just...” He catches himself before he says something dumb. _Lie, just a little_ , he thinks. “It’s just so quiet. It’s weird.”

“And he’s probably sick of losing Let’s Plays all the time, since Gavin isn’t here to suck even worse,” Ryan says, snorting.

Michael grins. _Yeah, let’s go with that._ “Well, yeah.”

The Gents laugh, and Michael smiles and somehow manages to get back to work, but the whole time he’s thinking about how empty the room feels right now even though it’s full.

 

* * *

 

**\+ 25**

At this point, Michael has forgotten everything Gavin was supposed to be doing in England, and when. Typical of him, of course; he can barely remember what Gavin is supposed to be doing when he’s in Austin and he gets told every night, let alone when Gavin isn’t there to remind him constantly.

It’s nearly been four weeks, now, and Michael is starting to notice a bit of a different problem with Gavin being gone. He’d never thought he would be the kind of guy to count how many days it’s been since he’d had sex, but, Jesus, he’s getting antsy now.

He’s jacking off every goddamn night to nothing but memories, and it’s still not enough. He wants Gavin, he thinks he actually _needs_ Gavin and he needs to be fucking his brains out right now. And the weird thing is that before Gavin, Michael didn’t really have sex that often. He would go months and months without it, and he’s asked Gavin and knows he’s the same.

Now? Now he wonders how they _ever_ used to go so long without it.

He’s pretty sure it’s legitimately killing him. Can people die from lack of sex? Because Michael insists to himself that’s what’s happening.

That’s what he ends up sending to Gavin. ‘Can people die from lack of sex?’

It’s unprecedented, the number of responses he’s getting from Gavin this trip, and it’s only a few hours later that his phone chimes, and there’s a reply. ‘You’ll manage. I’m coming back to you soon.’ That’s it, there’s nothing else.

“Well,” Michael says to no one. “I’ll be here.”

 

* * *

  

**\- 139**

Gavin is holding his hand when they leave the restaurant, all smiles and laughter. Michael can feel his face flushed a little pink, and he blames the wine, but he’s pretty sure it’s half because this is still so new and his heart pounds every time Gavin is close.

It’s been raining while they were inside eating dinner, and now the streetlights reflect off the puddles on the street, and cars going past sound loud and sharp. It’s chilly, and Michael regrets not bringing a coat or a scarf, but Gavin seems in his element. Lights bounce off Gavin’s eyes and hair, and Michael forgets his discomfort, because Gavin looks perfect and that’s suddenly all Michael can think about.

Gavin notices him staring and stops moving, and he’s smiling as he pulls Michael in to him, free arm curling around his waist to keep him close.

It’s not their first kiss, but it feels like it is.

And Michael thinks that, yeah, it’s probably too early to tell, but this feels like it could work forever. Why not? He and Gavin were close before, really close, and this relationship has been a long time coming. Of course it could work.

“I should get a cab,” Gavin whispers against his lips. “It’s getting late.”

Michael surprises even himself when he blurts back, “Take me with you.”

Gavin blinks, and then grins wide. “Pardon?” Michael flushes even brighter red, because he knows Gavin heard him, he’s just a perfect asshole.

“Take me home,” Michael says. “I...” _This is going to sound so stupid_ , he thinks. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.” And Gavin leans in and kisses him again, and then pulls them inside the first cab he can wave over.

They sneak through the Ramseys’ gate, thank god the lights are off, and Gavin pulls him gently inside his garage. They have sex for the first time together that night, and Gavin is confident and patient and slow and perfect, and Michael is overwhelmed in all the right ways. And when they curl together afterwards and sleep slowly takes Michael, he thinks to himself again, _Yeah, this could last forever_.

 

* * *

 

  **\+ 32**

When Michael arrives at the office, there are two cameras set up against the video game shelf, and Geoff looks excited. “What’s going on?” he asks, dumping his backpack next to his chair. He kicks it under his desk, and looks at Ray.

Ray shrugs. “Geoff says we’re filming a special video, or something?”

Michael looks over. “Like, a special AHWU?”

“Sort of. Everything will be revealed to you,” Geoff says, and he waves his arms like it’s some big mystery, so Michael obliges him and sits down. Even Jack looks confused, and he always knows what’s going on.

Geoff starts the cameras up, and does his typical introductions, and then he says, “Now, this is a very special video, and these guys have no idea what’s happening.”

Michael pipes up, then, and says, “Yeah, we fucking came in here to this set up, what’s going on?”

“Glad you asked, Michael!” Geoff grins. “I have a very special surprise for everyone.” And then he moves to the side of the camera, and the office door opens, and Gavin is standing there grinning and waving and wearing the goddamn shirt he took from Michael’s drawer.

The office erupts. Ryan yells, “Gaviiiiiin!” and Ray is laughing, and Jack is waving and grinning and Geoff is just looking proud off to the side.

And Michael, well. _He’s back,_ he thinks, blinking. _He’s ten days early. He’s back TEN DAYS EARLY!_ And he shrieks, “Gavin!” and all eyes turn to him. “You son of a bitch!” He’s standing and walking towards Gavin, who is grinning, and Jack is laughing because Michael looks furious and he probably thinks there’ll be a friendly fight. But Michael is furious and _in love_ , and when he grabs Gavin’s shirt in one fist, he pulls Gavin towards him and crushes their lips together.

He doesn’t even think, and his other hand curves around Gavin’s neck, and there’s not even any hesitation in return, because Gavin’s hands are gripping his hips and pulling him closer, and bending Michael backwards to kiss him harder.

The room is suddenly dead silent for a few moments, until Jack laughs and says, “Holy _shit!_ ” and Michael slowly pulls away, suddenly horrified. Gavin is bright red and staring around the room, and Michael might have really fucked up this time.

Except...

Ray is grinning and Ryan is smiling, and Geoff is off to the side with the smuggest grin Michael has ever seen. “What?” Geoff says when Michael glares. “I’ve seen you sneak over my gate in the middle of the night. You’re not quiet about it.”

Now Michael is even more horrified. “Did you _all_ know?”

Ryan snorts. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

“Oh, good!” Michael squeaks, but Gavin’s hands are still on his hips and he’s smiling, so Michael relaxes and moves his hands to hold Gavin’s shirt at his stomach. “You’re home early,” he accuses. Gavin at least has the good grace to look embarrassed.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” he says.

Michael tries to be angry, he really does, but he ends up just laughing. “I hate you,” he grins.

Gavin smiles down at him, and it doesn’t even matter that the camera is still rolling, and that everyone is just watching them, listening. “Did I mention, before I left, that I love you?”

Michael grins, and kisses him again. “Did I mention what I was going to do after I’d swum across that fucking ocean? Because looks like you got here first, and I’m going to have to do it sooner.” He winks, and Gavin grins back.

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

And when Gavin kisses Michael this time, the clock in the back of his mind stutters, and resets.

**0**


End file.
